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 Posted: Jun 05, 2012 - 12:18 AM |
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Joined: Jul 02, 2005
Posts: 5938
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
(but deserved an A+, maybe?)
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?
* Wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* He sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?
* Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack. |
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Ross McKenzie
ValuSoft
Melbourne Australia
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Posted: Jun 05, 2012 - 01:26 AM |
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Joined: Dec 18, 2001
Posts: 4708
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| I have a great little book entitled "(F) On Exams" or some such. Filled with such hilarious examples. Says they're real. |
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Posted: Jun 05, 2012 - 02:14 AM |
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Joined: Nov 17, 2004
Posts: 13825
Location: Vancouver, BC
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Posted: Jun 05, 2012 - 02:21 AM |
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Joined: Jul 02, 2005
Posts: 5938
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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| oh dear! Time to call the retirement village for a booking I guess. |
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Ross McKenzie
ValuSoft
Melbourne Australia
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Posted: Jun 05, 2012 - 04:26 AM |
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Joined: Oct 15, 2005
Posts: 530
Location: Russia, Far East Siberia, Irkutsk
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valusoft wrote:
oh dear! Time to call the retirement village for a booking I guess.
It's OK! Your 'exam answers' made me happy again  Thank you! |
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Posted: Jun 05, 2012 - 06:52 AM |
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Joined: May 02, 2007
Posts: 3009
Location: Nieuwegein, Netherlands
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it is a very old joke, but I love it every time I see it
there are a couple more of those exams. I have once read one on an exam about writing software(mixed c and assembly). that was also hilarious ( it was a blend of c and assembly that when read the first time meant nothing, but when reading again (just stupid to say) was a real big joke. never seen that one again though.... |
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1)Datasheet and application notes checked?
2)tutorial forum
3)Newbie start here
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Posted: Jun 05, 2012 - 11:04 AM |
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Joined: Oct 15, 2005
Posts: 530
Location: Russia, Far East Siberia, Irkutsk
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Ladies and Gentlemen! I have a suggestion: let's post more jokes)
As a little example:
1. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
2. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
3. You went to bed at eight 8 o'clock in the evening and wound up my clock and set the alarm to sound at nine 9 o'clock in the morningHow many hours sleep would you get before being awoken by the alarm?
4. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
5. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window? |
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Posted: Jun 05, 2012 - 03:46 PM |
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Joined: Nov 17, 2004
Posts: 13825
Location: Vancouver, BC
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Quote:
1. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
You are anonymous to the people outside the organization, not inside. And inside last names are never used. |
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Regards,
Steve A.
The Board helps those that help themselves.
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Posted: Jun 05, 2012 - 03:55 PM |
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Joined: Nov 11, 2003
Posts: 3873
Location: Chicago Illinois USA
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| But it was fun to read again. |
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Discursive design,
Torby
Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.
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Posted: Jun 05, 2012 - 10:14 PM |
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Joined: Jun 13, 2009
Posts: 307
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
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Posted: Jun 06, 2012 - 03:06 AM |
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Joined: Oct 15, 2005
Posts: 530
Location: Russia, Far East Siberia, Irkutsk
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Koshchi wrote:
You are anonymous to the people outside the organization, not inside. And inside last names are never used.
OK! As every joke, this one maybe true, and maybe not  |
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Posted: Jun 06, 2012 - 02:42 PM |
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Joined: Jan 03, 2004
Posts: 1637
Location: Apalachin, NY, USA
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Posted: Jun 06, 2012 - 09:46 PM |
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Joined: Jun 13, 2009
Posts: 307
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
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haker_fox wrote:
Koshchi wrote:
You are anonymous to the people outside the organization, not inside. And inside last names are never used.
OK! As every joke, this one maybe true, and maybe not
From my years of being an alcoholic and attending these meetings, I interpret anonymity to mean that what is said at the tables stays at the tables. People in AA shouldn't go around telling everyone what so and so did before he got sober as it would hurt people's professions. You are anonymous to the rest of the world, not to the people in the meetings themselves.
/thread... |
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Posted: Jun 07, 2012 - 07:26 AM |
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Joined: Oct 15, 2005
Posts: 530
Location: Russia, Far East Siberia, Irkutsk
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donblake wrote:
I don't know if this is true or not but I've seen it many times and it is funny:
Thermodynamic Question: Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
Don
I've just read this It's very very very funny! It made my laugh!
In my country we usually say under such circumstances:
"which sort of question do you ask, the same sort of answer you will be replied". Unfortunately, I don't know how I can exactly (with a high quality) translate the expression from Russian into English. Sorry  |
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Posted: Jun 07, 2012 - 07:31 AM |
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Joined: Oct 15, 2005
Posts: 530
Location: Russia, Far East Siberia, Irkutsk
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smkipus wrote:
haker_fox wrote:
Koshchi wrote:
You are anonymous to the people outside the organization, not inside. And inside last names are never used.
OK! As every joke, this one maybe true, and maybe not
From my years of being an alcoholic and attending these meetings, I interpret anonymity to mean that what is said at the tables stays at the tables. People in AA shouldn't go around telling everyone what so and so did before he got sober as it would hurt people's professions. You are anonymous to the rest of the world, not to the people in the meetings themselves.
/thread...
OK! Thank you very much for detailed explanation. I found that joke in the internet. So I didn't want to offend anyone. My apologies if the joke confused you! |
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Posted: Jun 07, 2012 - 09:49 AM |
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Joined: Jul 02, 2005
Posts: 5938
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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haker_fox wrote:
In my country we usually say under such circumstances:
"which sort of question do you ask, the same sort of answer you will be replied". Unfortunately, I don't know how I can exactly (with a high quality) translate the expression from Russian into English. Sorry
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Ross McKenzie
ValuSoft
Melbourne Australia
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Posted: Jun 07, 2012 - 11:17 AM |
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Joined: Feb 12, 2005
Posts: 16289
Location: Wormshill, England
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donblake wrote:
I don't know if this is true or not but I've seen it many times and it is funny:
Thermodynamic Question: Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
Don
Brilliant. Especially that the student got Grade A.
Whatever happened to Theresa Manyan?
Was she impressed with his exam grade?
Did romance ever ensue .... |
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Posted: Jun 07, 2012 - 11:33 AM |
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Joined: Dec 22, 2008
Posts: 359
Location: nr Bundaberg, Australia
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That thermodynamic exam answer is a classic.
______
Rob |
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Posted: Jun 07, 2012 - 01:52 PM |
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Joined: Nov 11, 2003
Posts: 3873
Location: Chicago Illinois USA
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I once answered an exam question, "What difference does it make?"
It was, quite expectedly, marked wrong, but then the mark was changed and it said, "Ok, I concede, full credit."
(I marked it that as there was no way to figure out an answer.) |
_________________
Discursive design,
Torby
Some days, it's just not worth chewing through the restraints.
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Posted: Jun 07, 2012 - 02:07 PM |
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Joined: Oct 15, 2005
Posts: 530
Location: Russia, Far East Siberia, Irkutsk
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david.prentice wrote:
Especially that the student got Grade A.
I believe he gave adequate response |
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